First I’ll talk about the webpage itself. I think it looks brilliant! The picture that you have on your home page sets the scene very well for what I read in the introduction and it’s exactly what you would think of when you think of an old European town. The background color/theme you have for the web page fits very nicely and I really like the added touch of the tree branch in the top left corner!
As for the introduction itself, it had me captivated the whole time. At first I was wondering if this story was actually about you and maybe somehow you were incorporating stories from this class into your own adventures that you may have had in the past, but as I read I realized that’s probably wrong. You give very good detail in your story, which goes a long way towards placing an image in the reader’s mind. The way to introduce the storyteller for your storybook was also brilliant and flowed very well with your story. The picture you have for the storekeeper is also exactly what you would expect an old storyteller to look like! I’m curious to see how this project progresses and if the person riding the bike is involved in the future stories.
Hi Jordan! I really like the layout and design you used from your storybook. It has a soft elegant color scheme, and I think that goes nicely with the theme of your storybook in the Netherlands. The picture that you have on your cover page is very beautiful, and I like that it foreshadows a location that you talk about in the opening of your introduction about your adventure in the Netherlands.
I think you did a great job of drawing my attention and making me want to know more about your exploration of the country your grandmother is from. Your use of imagery was so vivid and it also made me feel like I was actually there experiencing this adventure for myself. I like that along the way as you told your introduction, you included pictures to help us visualize what is going on in the story. I am excited to hear all the stories about the golden helmet and the many different sizes of bells that were found on the wall. I bet the story owner, William, has some great stories to tell.
Great job so far on the start of your storybook, and I look forward to reading more of your work!
Wow, what a great story! First off, I really like your layout and design. It fits perfectly with the Netherlands and the gorgeous scenery that I assume would be there. I like how you used the introduction to start out your story and instead of just introducing characters, you had a third party come in to hear about the story. My only suggestion would be the placement of the captions underneath your pictures. Some of them are off-centered and me, being borderline OCD, like to move them over just a bit to either be centered underneath the pictures or all left-justified. Other than that, I think you did a great job aesthetically! I also really liked how you moved from your introduction straight into your first story. It really gives a nice flow and shows how the story progresses and we aren't left hanging. I think I may need to do something similar for mine, because I just kind've skipped around to my first story. So I really thought that was a good way to transition into your narratives. In terms of content, I really enjoyed your story! It was clever to use the name William and I loved your use of detail and imagery. The story really comes through and the characters are well developed and interesting. Overall, I really enjoyed reading your storybook. It was entertaining and fun, thanks for sharing!
Hey Jordan, I just wanted to take a few minutes to say thank you for all of the positive feedback you've left on my blog posts these past 7 weeks. While constructive criticism is always useful, it's nice to have people let you know that they liked a particular story you posted or perhaps something they read on the introduction that sounded interesting or demonstrated a common interest. Thank you so much!! I hope you have a great semester!!
First off, the coverage is probably perfect. The picture of the canal with the boats and people eating on tiny tables next to the water looks so fun. I actually went to the Netherlands this past summer, but it was only for a couple of days. I am interested to see if your story points out the same things that I noticed when I was there. So far the color scheme and the picture match exactly what I remember.
Your introduction is great. The picture of the bike is funny because they literally all use bikes, though they look a little different than that picture. This setting reminds me of the farm I went to where the wooden shoes and cheese was made. Tone fits perfectly with the setting and the old man adds to the excitement of the stories that will be told. There is one typo when talking about the bells that you say possible when it should by possibly. I also really like that you have multiple pictures.
That first story really took a different turn than I was expecting. I thought it would be maybe the boy and the dyke, not the persecution of Christians. However, I like the changes that you made to the original and it makes more sense as to why it is still used in weddings. Once again, your pictures fit the story very well. Good job on the retelling.
Jordan, thanks for your comment on my storybook project. Someone else mentioned removing one of the pictures on my home page as well so I took the advice and it looks great. Thanks!
I like your cover page, especially the image you have chosen. Since it's on the larger in size, it immediately caught my eye when your site opened. I found myself examining the image, and its details, before I could think about moving onto the introduction.
Your introduction is like a story into itself, and was a great way to lead into your stories. I like the third person omniscient approach to your narrator. The way "they" carried us through the Netherlands was a great approach! I don't have any ties to the Netherlands, so I feel like I have learned some aspects of the culture (although I may not recognize or know what some of the items/places are just based on their names). I am very interested about William, his shop, and the stories that he is to tell our narrator!
The first story of this unit was great! I don't know anything about the Dutch culture or their fairy tales. This particular tale was very interesting, especially considering the role of christianity. Obviously this was an important aspect of their history/culture, or it wouldn't have made its way into their fairy tales. Your author's note was written very well! I like how you stayed true to the original tale, but was able to take out some parts of it and emphasize on your own ideas instead. I'll be back to read more of your entries! Great job!
I just wanted to say thank you for your feedback about my storybook project. I'm glad that you found my title and color scheme effective! It's also nice to hear that you have used the diary style before and that it worked well for you.
Jordan, thank you for taking the time to read through my storybook even though you do not know much about The Doctor. It is good to see if there were things I needed to change to make the stories more widely acceptable, and your comments helped me with that.
First of all, I loved the photo on your cover page. It really made me want to visit the Netherlands, and it reminded me of The Fault in Our Stars movie.
I like your inclusion of Dutch words in the introduction, but I think it would be helpful to explain what those words mean to the reader. I also think you did an excellent job with word choice. You used strong verbs and put the adjectives exactly where they were needed. The only thing I would suggest would be added a sense of time in the introduction. Is this present-day in The Netherlands?
In your first story, I really enjoyed the missionary theme. But I would advise against using the word savages to describe the people who worshiped the idols. This is the same kind of thinking that the American pioneers used against the Native Americans.
I really enjoyed who the helm of thorns tied in so nicely with the crown of thorns. You did a really good job with the symbolism in this story. I also liked the strong female character. I'm glad you gave Casper a larger role in the story. It is so true that the Christian who ministers to you becomes such a huge part of your faith. Very nicely done!
I love that your story seems like something that could actually happen. A lot of the stories I have read are complete fantasy and fiction. Although I love those stories, this is a great change from normal.
First of all, I love all of your pictures. They really help set the scene for your stories. I especially love that you put more than one picture in your stories. I have only seen people put one picture per story and that includes me. You might have inspired me to add more pictures to my future stories.
I love your first story! It is a very powerful story about a very strong woman. I really appreciated the background you added for Casper. He really is an important character in this story and I think it added to your version of the story to have that. I had no idea about the tradition of the helms for the Dutch brides. I think it is a really sweet tradition to honor Fostendina and I hope they all understand the meaning of the helm that they wear.
Your second story is also written very well. I think it is very sweet that the kabouters made the original church bells for their teachers. I really like how you incorporated the first story into this one. It really helped with the flow of your overall storybook.
I really like how you are telling these stories based off of the things that your main character was originally interested in when he went into the shop. It was great foreshadowing and I know I am particularly interested in the story about the wooden shoes.
Hi, Jordan! First of all, I love the theme for your storybook. Your background is beautiful and perfect for the feel of the stories. Your cover page picture is great also. The picture is gorgeous. It makes me want to go to the Netherlands.
Your introduction is great. It set the scene so well. I could really picture this unique shop and the old man. You left off at a good place also. It made me want to continue to the next story. The pictures all fit very well through the transitions of the narrative.
Your first story was also very good. I liked how you off set the story the shopkeeper was telling from the original story. I had never heard this story before, but I thought your retelling was very good. I also like the connection of the shopkeeper sharing the name of the original story’s writer that was a great detail to add to your author’s note. The pictures you included were also very fitting for the story. For your second story, I thought the title was perfect. Once again, the pictures enhanced the story very well. Like the other story and the introduction, it was very well written. You’re doing a great job so far with your storybook. Good job!
I must say that the elements in your coverpage work well together. The color tones you've chosen are relaxing to the eye, and they complement the image you've posted. I'm also glad that you utilized a good amount of space in the coverpage. I see so many coverpages that have so much blank space, so it is nice to see one formatted so well.
I think you nailed the introduction. Your writing style is refreshing, and the pace of the narrative matches that. I absolutely LOVE that you chose an image to show the face of the shopkeeper. Usually, I prefer that the physical nature of a character depend on the imagination of the reader, but that smile is so genuine! My favorite part, however, is how you create intrigue at the end of your introduction. I cannot wait to learn more about the shopkeeper and those shoes!
Good call on the indention to easily show when William is narrating a story within your Storybook. I also like that you pay tribute to the author through your naming! The changes that you instituted in the story work very well. I, for one, thought they were very appropriate. Overall, great work!
Hi Jordan! This is my second time visiting your storybook page, and since I have already commented on your cover page, introduction, first story, I will be commenting on your second story. I remember really enjoying your story about the old man story teller in your first story, so I was pretty excited about reading what else your wrote. After reading your first story, I remembered in your introduction that you had mentioned something about a wall full of bells. I am glad I finally got to find out why the old man sells these bells! As you mentioned in your Author's Note, you said you wanted to carry out a little bit of your first story into your second story to allow it to flow more, and I am happy you did that. I think you did a great job of executing that! Overall great job on your second story! I see you have already finished your third story, so I will probably be reading that soon too! Keep up the good work.
Hi Jordan! I remember reading your storybook back when we had just an introduction and homepage and I remember being very curious as to what the stories were going to be about, so long story short, I'm back!
I love the introduction into your first story where the sit down and have cheese to share, it really helps set the overall mood. I thought this was a great story to read and it is definitely not something I have heard or read before. I think the changes you made to the original story are great and I think you’re story had a lot of symbolism. Great story!
The way that your second story builds off of your first is awesome! The changes you are making to the original stories make your storybook have a great flow from story to story. I think this was another great piece of writing and that the storybook is coming along very nicely!
The wooden shoe story was my favorite of all three! Once again I like how each story progresses on the other. This was especially amusing to me because my parents are Dutch and we actually have a pair of wooden shoes from a festival in our garage! I had no idea that this is where they originated!
Overall, I think your storytelling is very good and the way you start and end each story back with the storyteller and the narrator are great, good job!
You have done a great job with your story so far! Keep up the good work. I was very interested to read your storybook because I was planning on studying abroad in the Netherlands!!! I was looking at the city of Utrecht. So, it was really cool to see you coverage and your stories and kind of imagine myself in the Netherlands.
So, like many other commenters I really liked your image of the picturesque Netherland canal! It is one of the many reasons I wanted to go there so badly! You chose a great image, Very Beautiful!
I really liked your introduction as well. I felt as if I was really about to sit down, have some good cheese and start the stories!
You did a good job with your first story. I liked the changes you made that I read about in the Author’s notes. I think those were intelligent changes. Good Job.
Your second story was also well written. You did a great job incorporating your first story into second and it work really well with the flow of your story. Again I think you did a great job with the changes you made from the original story. The changes you made were good ones.
I absolutely love the clog you included in your story! It was an amusing story and again one of those hallmarks of the Netherlands!
Great job with you stories! Keep up the good work!
Hi again, Jordan! I came back to read your next two stories. They were also very good and very well written.
Your second story was very good also. I love that the story explained why there were so many bells and how they were all created. I thought it was a cute story and I loved that the kabouters helped those so much who were kind to them and didn’t try to force them to lose their own culture. It was great how much they helped the good teacher. It was very sweet how they helped with the good teachers bells and then continued through the Netherlands to put bells in every church.
The third story was also great. Once again I loved that the story explained the origin of the wooden shoes. Once again, I loved that the person trying to help by not cutting down the trees was the person originally rewarded with the wooden shoes to keep his feet dry in the wet and muddy land. I liked that the kabouter helped the people who were trying to protect them and their history with the trees. Also, I don’t think I ever knew the real purpose of wooden shoes but it makes a lot of sense that they help protect your feet from the wetness of the ground. Good job once again with your storybook!
I came back to your Storybook because I remember how struck I was by your first story and introduction. This time, I'm reading "Van Eyck and the Wooden Shoes." As I mentioned before, one of my favorite aspects of your Storybook is how you develop William's personality. He seems so wise, yet so playful. He seems to be what many would want to have as their grandfather.
The origin explanations, e.g. the wooden shoes' coming from the kabouters, seem to work well in this story. The functionality of the wooden shoes upon damp ground makes complete sense, and if you were to have made that fact up, I would have never realized it.
When it comes to grammar and typographical errors, nothing is standing out to me. In every instance in which a mistake is likely to arise, you circumvent it.
I agree with your choice to exclude the description of the Moss Maidens and the elfs. It does seem that you desire to retain a realistic tone in your Storybook, and I wouldn't want anything to take away from that.
Overall, I think you're still on the right track. You characters have life, and I can imagine myself in the setting. Great work!
I decided to come back and see how your storybook has changed since the last time I read it! I came back because I really enjoyed your writing style and your storybook. It is very different than a lot of the others I have read and really love it.
I didn't realize until just now that, in your storybook, you are the person being told the story! I love it!
Your third story was great!! I like that you decided to not include the elves and the talking tree. This kept your story within the overall theme of your storybook. I also really love that you edited your story so that it would incorporate the other two. It makes your storybook very cohesive and believable. I would really like to know how those wooden shoes were made though. Seems pretty remarkable. I appreciated that you kind of showed the readers what the wooden shoes were for. I had no idea that they helped keep your feet dry, however, now that I know I can see that it makes a lot of sense. I also think it would be nice to describe how comfortable the shoes were.
Jordan,
ReplyDeleteFirst I’ll talk about the webpage itself. I think it looks brilliant! The picture that you have on your home page sets the scene very well for what I read in the introduction and it’s exactly what you would think of when you think of an old European town. The background color/theme you have for the web page fits very nicely and I really like the added touch of the tree branch in the top left corner!
As for the introduction itself, it had me captivated the whole time. At first I was wondering if this story was actually about you and maybe somehow you were incorporating stories from this class into your own adventures that you may have had in the past, but as I read I realized that’s probably wrong. You give very good detail in your story, which goes a long way towards placing an image in the reader’s mind. The way to introduce the storyteller for your storybook was also brilliant and flowed very well with your story. The picture you have for the storekeeper is also exactly what you would expect an old storyteller to look like! I’m curious to see how this project progresses and if the person riding the bike is involved in the future stories.
Hi Jordan! I really like the layout and design you used from your storybook. It has a soft elegant color scheme, and I think that goes nicely with the theme of your storybook in the Netherlands. The picture that you have on your cover page is very beautiful, and I like that it foreshadows a location that you talk about in the opening of your introduction about your adventure in the Netherlands.
ReplyDeleteI think you did a great job of drawing my attention and making me want to know more about your exploration of the country your grandmother is from. Your use of imagery was so vivid and it also made me feel like I was actually there experiencing this adventure for myself. I like that along the way as you told your introduction, you included pictures to help us visualize what is going on in the story. I am excited to hear all the stories about the golden helmet and the many different sizes of bells that were found on the wall. I bet the story owner, William, has some great stories to tell.
Great job so far on the start of your storybook, and I look forward to reading more of your work!
Wow, what a great story! First off, I really like your layout and design. It fits perfectly with the Netherlands and the gorgeous scenery that I assume would be there. I like how you used the introduction to start out your story and instead of just introducing characters, you had a third party come in to hear about the story. My only suggestion would be the placement of the captions underneath your pictures. Some of them are off-centered and me, being borderline OCD, like to move them over just a bit to either be centered underneath the pictures or all left-justified. Other than that, I think you did a great job aesthetically! I also really liked how you moved from your introduction straight into your first story. It really gives a nice flow and shows how the story progresses and we aren't left hanging. I think I may need to do something similar for mine, because I just kind've skipped around to my first story. So I really thought that was a good way to transition into your narratives. In terms of content, I really enjoyed your story! It was clever to use the name William and I loved your use of detail and imagery. The story really comes through and the characters are well developed and interesting. Overall, I really enjoyed reading your storybook. It was entertaining and fun, thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHey Jordan, I just wanted to take a few minutes to say thank you for all of the positive feedback you've left on my blog posts these past 7 weeks. While constructive criticism is always useful, it's nice to have people let you know that they liked a particular story you posted or perhaps something they read on the introduction that sounded interesting or demonstrated a common interest. Thank you so much!! I hope you have a great semester!!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, the coverage is probably perfect. The picture of the canal with the boats and people eating on tiny tables next to the water looks so fun. I actually went to the Netherlands this past summer, but it was only for a couple of days. I am interested to see if your story points out the same things that I noticed when I was there. So far the color scheme and the picture match exactly what I remember.
ReplyDeleteYour introduction is great. The picture of the bike is funny because they literally all use bikes, though they look a little different than that picture. This setting reminds me of the farm I went to where the wooden shoes and cheese was made. Tone fits perfectly with the setting and the old man adds to the excitement of the stories that will be told. There is one typo when talking about the bells that you say possible when it should by possibly. I also really like that you have multiple pictures.
That first story really took a different turn than I was expecting. I thought it would be maybe the boy and the dyke, not the persecution of Christians. However, I like the changes that you made to the original and it makes more sense as to why it is still used in weddings. Once again, your pictures fit the story very well. Good job on the retelling.
Jordan, thanks for your comment on my storybook project. Someone else mentioned removing one of the pictures on my home page as well so I took the advice and it looks great. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteJordan,
ReplyDeleteI like your cover page, especially the image you have chosen. Since it's on the larger in size, it immediately caught my eye when your site opened. I found myself examining the image, and its details, before I could think about moving onto the introduction.
Your introduction is like a story into itself, and was a great way to lead into your stories. I like the third person omniscient approach to your narrator. The way "they" carried us through the Netherlands was a great approach! I don't have any ties to the Netherlands, so I feel like I have learned some aspects of the culture (although I may not recognize or know what some of the items/places are just based on their names). I am very interested about William, his shop, and the stories that he is to tell our narrator!
The first story of this unit was great! I don't know anything about the Dutch culture or their fairy tales. This particular tale was very interesting, especially considering the role of christianity. Obviously this was an important aspect of their history/culture, or it wouldn't have made its way into their fairy tales. Your author's note was written very well! I like how you stayed true to the original tale, but was able to take out some parts of it and emphasize on your own ideas instead. I'll be back to read more of your entries! Great job!
Hey, Jordan!
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to say thank you for your feedback about my storybook project. I'm glad that you found my title and color scheme effective! It's also nice to hear that you have used the diary style before and that it worked well for you.
Thanks again!
Jordan, thank you for taking the time to read through my storybook even though you do not know much about The Doctor. It is good to see if there were things I needed to change to make the stories more widely acceptable, and your comments helped me with that.
ReplyDeleteHi Jordan,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I loved the photo on your cover page. It really made me want to visit the Netherlands, and it reminded me of The Fault in Our Stars movie.
I like your inclusion of Dutch words in the introduction, but I think it would be helpful to explain what those words mean to the reader. I also think you did an excellent job with word choice. You used strong verbs and put the adjectives exactly where they were needed. The only thing I would suggest would be added a sense of time in the introduction. Is this present-day in The Netherlands?
In your first story, I really enjoyed the missionary theme. But I would advise against using the word savages to describe the people who worshiped the idols. This is the same kind of thinking that the American pioneers used against the Native Americans.
I really enjoyed who the helm of thorns tied in so nicely with the crown of thorns. You did a really good job with the symbolism in this story. I also liked the strong female character. I'm glad you gave Casper a larger role in the story. It is so true that the Christian who ministers to you becomes such a huge part of your faith. Very nicely done!
Hey Jordan,
ReplyDeleteI love that your story seems like something that could actually happen. A lot of the stories I have read are complete fantasy and fiction. Although I love those stories, this is a great change from normal.
First of all, I love all of your pictures. They really help set the scene for your stories. I especially love that you put more than one picture in your stories. I have only seen people put one picture per story and that includes me. You might have inspired me to add more pictures to my future stories.
I love your first story! It is a very powerful story about a very strong woman. I really appreciated the background you added for Casper. He really is an important character in this story and I think it added to your version of the story to have that. I had no idea about the tradition of the helms for the Dutch brides. I think it is a really sweet tradition to honor Fostendina and I hope they all understand the meaning of the helm that they wear.
Your second story is also written very well. I think it is very sweet that the kabouters made the original church bells for their teachers. I really like how you incorporated the first story into this one. It really helped with the flow of your overall storybook.
I really like how you are telling these stories based off of the things that your main character was originally interested in when he went into the shop. It was great foreshadowing and I know I am particularly interested in the story about the wooden shoes.
Hi, Jordan! First of all, I love the theme for your storybook. Your background is beautiful and perfect for the feel of the stories. Your cover page picture is great also. The picture is gorgeous. It makes me want to go to the Netherlands.
ReplyDeleteYour introduction is great. It set the scene so well. I could really picture this unique shop and the old man. You left off at a good place also. It made me want to continue to the next story. The pictures all fit very well through the transitions of the narrative.
Your first story was also very good. I liked how you off set the story the shopkeeper was telling from the original story. I had never heard this story before, but I thought your retelling was very good. I also like the connection of the shopkeeper sharing the name of the original story’s writer that was a great detail to add to your author’s note. The pictures you included were also very fitting for the story. For your second story, I thought the title was perfect. Once again, the pictures enhanced the story very well. Like the other story and the introduction, it was very well written. You’re doing a great job so far with your storybook. Good job!
I must say that the elements in your coverpage work well together. The color tones you've chosen are relaxing to the eye, and they complement the image you've posted. I'm also glad that you utilized a good amount of space in the coverpage. I see so many coverpages that have so much blank space, so it is nice to see one formatted so well.
ReplyDeleteI think you nailed the introduction. Your writing style is refreshing, and the pace of the narrative matches that. I absolutely LOVE that you chose an image to show the face of the shopkeeper. Usually, I prefer that the physical nature of a character depend on the imagination of the reader, but that smile is so genuine! My favorite part, however, is how you create intrigue at the end of your introduction. I cannot wait to learn more about the shopkeeper and those shoes!
Good call on the indention to easily show when William is narrating a story within your Storybook. I also like that you pay tribute to the author through your naming! The changes that you instituted in the story work very well. I, for one, thought they were very appropriate. Overall, great work!
Hi Jordan! This is my second time visiting your storybook page, and since I have already commented on your cover page, introduction, first story, I will be commenting on your second story. I remember really enjoying your story about the old man story teller in your first story, so I was pretty excited about reading what else your wrote. After reading your first story, I remembered in your introduction that you had mentioned something about a wall full of bells. I am glad I finally got to find out why the old man sells these bells! As you mentioned in your Author's Note, you said you wanted to carry out a little bit of your first story into your second story to allow it to flow more, and I am happy you did that. I think you did a great job of executing that! Overall great job on your second story! I see you have already finished your third story, so I will probably be reading that soon too! Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteHi Jordan! I remember reading your storybook back when we had just an introduction and homepage and I remember being very curious as to what the stories were going to be about, so long story short, I'm back!
ReplyDeleteI love the introduction into your first story where the sit down and have cheese to share, it really helps set the overall mood. I thought this was a great story to read and it is definitely not something I have heard or read before. I think the changes you made to the original story are great and I think you’re story had a lot of symbolism. Great story!
The way that your second story builds off of your first is awesome! The changes you are making to the original stories make your storybook have a great flow from story to story. I think this was another great piece of writing and that the storybook is coming along very nicely!
The wooden shoe story was my favorite of all three! Once again I like how each story progresses on the other. This was especially amusing to me because my parents are Dutch and we actually have a pair of wooden shoes from a festival in our garage! I had no idea that this is where they originated!
Overall, I think your storytelling is very good and the way you start and end each story back with the storyteller and the narrator are great, good job!
Hey Jordan,
ReplyDeleteYou have done a great job with your story so far! Keep up the good work. I was very interested to read your storybook because I was planning on studying abroad in the Netherlands!!! I was looking at the city of Utrecht. So, it was really cool to see you coverage and your stories and kind of imagine myself in the Netherlands.
So, like many other commenters I really liked your image of the picturesque Netherland canal! It is one of the many reasons I wanted to go there so badly! You chose a great image, Very Beautiful!
I really liked your introduction as well. I felt as if I was really about to sit down, have some good cheese and start the stories!
You did a good job with your first story. I liked the changes you made that I read about in the Author’s notes. I think those were intelligent changes. Good Job.
Your second story was also well written. You did a great job incorporating your first story into second and it work really well with the flow of your story. Again I think you did a great job with the changes you made from the original story. The changes you made were good ones.
I absolutely love the clog you included in your story! It was an amusing story and again one of those hallmarks of the Netherlands!
Great job with you stories! Keep up the good work!
Hi again, Jordan! I came back to read your next two stories. They were also very good and very well written.
ReplyDeleteYour second story was very good also. I love that the story explained why there were so many bells and how they were all created. I thought it was a cute story and I loved that the kabouters helped those so much who were kind to them and didn’t try to force them to lose their own culture. It was great how much they helped the good teacher. It was very sweet how they helped with the good teachers bells and then continued through the Netherlands to put bells in every church.
The third story was also great. Once again I loved that the story explained the origin of the wooden shoes. Once again, I loved that the person trying to help by not cutting down the trees was the person originally rewarded with the wooden shoes to keep his feet dry in the wet and muddy land. I liked that the kabouter helped the people who were trying to protect them and their history with the trees. Also, I don’t think I ever knew the real purpose of wooden shoes but it makes a lot of sense that they help protect your feet from the wetness of the ground. Good job once again with your storybook!
I came back to your Storybook because I remember how struck I was by your first story and introduction. This time, I'm reading "Van Eyck and the Wooden Shoes." As I mentioned before, one of my favorite aspects of your Storybook is how you develop William's personality. He seems so wise, yet so playful. He seems to be what many would want to have as their grandfather.
ReplyDeleteThe origin explanations, e.g. the wooden shoes' coming from the kabouters, seem to work well in this story. The functionality of the wooden shoes upon damp ground makes complete sense, and if you were to have made that fact up, I would have never realized it.
When it comes to grammar and typographical errors, nothing is standing out to me. In every instance in which a mistake is likely to arise, you circumvent it.
I agree with your choice to exclude the description of the Moss Maidens and the elfs. It does seem that you desire to retain a realistic tone in your Storybook, and I wouldn't want anything to take away from that.
Overall, I think you're still on the right track. You characters have life, and I can imagine myself in the setting. Great work!
Hey there Jordan!
ReplyDeleteI decided to come back and see how your storybook has changed since the last time I read it! I came back because I really enjoyed your writing style and your storybook. It is very different than a lot of the others I have read and really love it.
I didn't realize until just now that, in your storybook, you are the person being told the story! I love it!
Your third story was great!! I like that you decided to not include the elves and the talking tree. This kept your story within the overall theme of your storybook. I also really love that you edited your story so that it would incorporate the other two. It makes your storybook very cohesive and believable. I would really like to know how those wooden shoes were made though. Seems pretty remarkable. I appreciated that you kind of showed the readers what the wooden shoes were for. I had no idea that they helped keep your feet dry, however, now that I know I can see that it makes a lot of sense. I also think it would be nice to describe how comfortable the shoes were.
Good job with your storybook this semester!